To be or not to be (Gay that is.)

They speak as if there is a choice. They speak as if it is a whim (Howzsbout being gay tonight?) They speak as if it is a sickness. They speak as if it is peer pressure - they speak of it as if it were an experiment.

I am very glad I was not born gay. I don't think I would have the inner strength to deal with it. And I don't think my family would have understood. You have to be a great person to let the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune strike you where you are vulnerable. You need to know when to fight your battles and when to let the unimportant ones drift away. I would tackle them all as ferociously as I could. But I was blessed with the ability to understand how to walk in another man's shoes – and behind him giving support in all he/she may need. I am also honoured to have gay family members, and lots of gay friends (I love them to bits)

I am a peoples person. I am a bit shy/retiring but I love watching people. Often older members of my family will say comments like "How many blacks are there?" Apparently I have an expressive face which leaves them in no uncertainty of my opinion of them as I reply "Do you mean - How many people are there?" I am also a "Live and let live Kinda gal" If we click I would love to get to know you better. I don't care what colour, religion, race, height, weight, sexuality, intelligence factor you have (As long as you are not a bigot.)

I don't care what happens behind your closed doors. If I like you I will support you. If we don't gel, I will make you a "nodding" acquaintance.

My gay friends/family:

1.      They support me as no other friend does.

2.      They have a lovely outlook on life – they have faced such trash that when things go well they sparkle,

3.      We share a lot of the same interests. We can dance together, read together, listen to classical music together,

4.      We laugh together.

Let's now talk about the typical SA MALE

Braai, Boerewors and Rugby with a bit of boxing thrown in – Snide remarks if a hetero guy claims not to like these things – he's obviously not a real man!

A real man smokes Camel cigarettes or rolls his own, kills things to eat, fights – for no reason at all, loves all sports and is happiest becoming obnoxious at a bar? Aha – you don't like that generalisation do you?

But I can tell you it takes a REAL man to stand up to his Neanderthal friends when he wants to learn dancing. No not Hip Hop. Elegant charming ballroom and cheeky Latin ("Mmmmm. Heard about Chuck? I always thought there was a bit of a moffie there."

"Chuck went to a concert? Didn't know there was a rap artist in town. "What!! A symphony concert? AND a ballet? Mmm you never can tell."

"WHAT? He also went to a play – Not Comedy junction? A play??? He must be gay."

Stereotypes - Stereotypes –Stereotypes. I feel so sorry for the narrow minded population. They don't know what they are missing

Let your guard down a bit – experience LIFE and all it has to offer.

My father loved the theatre, Opera, dancing, reading and helping out at home. He brought me up to like the same things. There wasn't a gay bone in his body. He was a refined gentleman. He encouraged me in my friendships with diverse people and even offered some advice on how I could support a gay friend who got into trouble with the law. If he had been alive he would have stood behind me when that same friend was dying because he left it too late to be diagnosed with HIV. He didn't have a chance – full blown aids got him medical attention but it was too late to give him life. I sat with him as he died.

Thanks DAD for helping me to see that I don't need to know everything about a friend and I can still be loyal.

So how many black friends do I have? – Not sure, I have never counted.

How many Gay friends do you have? – not sure but quite a lot and possibly some I don't even know as Gay – My friends are my friends.

How many White friends do I have? – Come on! Seriously? Haven't you got the message yet? I have friends some are calm, some are crazy, some are good listeners, some lean on me for support and I lean on some for support.

I wish we could stop classifying people – it is demeaning

I wish we could dispense with stupidities – like – watch out – he will make you gay

What would the bigot do if I were to tell him/her that someone important in their life is actually gay? Would they really remain bigoted and cast the person aside or would love prevail?

I choose to love, be positive and accept everyone for who they are. What do you choose?