English as she is spoke and writ in 2015

When I was at school with Noah we were taught that we must never use two times unless we were referring to the two times table. There was a very special English word that could express that concept concisely. The wonderful word twice. The word thrice was cursorily mentioned but we were warned that it seemed to be going out of fashion so we were allowed to use three times instead.

This was drummed into me from an early age. Old habits die hard so you can see me – any day of the week – cringing in my chair as it seems that TV ads have been specifically devised to drive me over the edge.

"Use toothpaste x and it will clean your teeth two times better than toothpaste b" (15 words)

"Cleaner A cleans surfaces two times faster than cleaner B" (10 words)

Okay so how about:

"Teeth cleaned with toothpaste x will be twice as clean as those cleaned with toothpaste B" (16 words but better expression)

"Cleaner A cleans surfaces twice as fast as cleaner B" (10 words but…..)

And just as a matter of interest why can't my cleaner get rid of 0.1% of known germs? And I wonder how many unknown germs there are.

Alright let's get off the numbers.

American bashing here I come.

"I told her to get off of me." (8 words)

"I told her to get off me." (7 words)

What is the purpose of the word of?

"We are gonna go to the house" (7 words)

"We are going to the house" (6 words)

What is the purpose of gonna go?

I am still cringing with bad American writing.

America can rest uneasily for a bit. I'll be back

We are trying to educate children. There are 26 letters in the English (and American) alphabet – 5 of which are true vowels. Vowels have been banished to some unknown place. I would like some volunteers to get them back.

1 rly mss ths frndly crtrs. Thy md rdng smpl. Pls cm bk 1 nd u. (Ah ha! two have returned but for how long?)

Mother Grundy here once objected to a post in a group that was trying to keep the arts alive. A member made a statement with minimal vowels and I requested a few more vowels to be used in the postings. Needless to say it was ignored.

And lastly using the #justsaying is superfluous. The words that have been written or spoken did convey the message that you were expressing an opinion.

But don't worry – I still love each and every one of my readers even if I can't make head or tail of what you are trying to say. I am just astonished that loads of money has gone into educating you to forget your vowels.

My hat goes off to one 15 year old young man who admonished one of his friends for writing messages without using proper English. Well done Alex.

Open letter to ECR

I can remember the date of your inception as Radio Port Natal. One of my friends was employed as an announcer (DJ terminology came later I think). It was an exciting moment when we first heard her voice over the air. At that time females were not allowed to read the news. The logic of the argument seemed illogical. What a great time when the first female newscaster was heard!

At that time the radio station aimed everything towards the people who were in the buying seat – adults. The music that was featured was adult contemporary and saw the introduction of many "new" bands to the east coast audience. New overseas artists were featured as well as rising talent in the South African music industry. The radio buzzed with melodious music from all around the world. It was music that we enjoyed and our kids enjoyed it as well. The music ranged from folk, to ballads to rock to pop. We had our radios on all the time. We heard new artists and rushed out to buy their records (yes - Vinyl). The residents of this golden coast were united in their support of Radio Port Natal. Announcers came and went and we had our favourites. There were news broadcasts every hour on the half. First in English and then in Afrikaans and the music was great, the announcers were funny and smooth talking and never resorted to swearing and dubious topics.

Eventually all good things have a shelf life and ECR rose from the ashes of Radio Port Natal. At first all was hunky dory, a few announcers had stayed to form continuity. And once again I had my favourites but enjoyed all. The Afrikaans announcers soon left and the radio became English. The music remained adult contemporary for a while but soon other waves began creeping in – subtly at first and then more blatantly. The adult contemporary music began to dwindle and more and more pop crept in as did foul language – although to give them their due they mainly used the clean version of the song. One day I heard one of my dancers singing along to a song that raised my brows – all ten years old of her singing words that she had no knowledge of. Songs became very sexual in nature and I still gave my (now 11 year old) dancer lifts.

I teach Ballroom and Latin dancing mainly to kids so I am always looking for good music that they can relate to. So I still listened to ECR. I loved most of the DJ's. Then a new breed of DJ's came in and with them slightly different ethics and slightly different values. I always believe in giving people a chance but the newbies have had their chance and I am migrating elsewhere – at least during their time slots. I will still listen to my favourites but I am looking for a new station that will give me what I need while I am driving to and from my dance lessons and my duties at the school where I teach. I love the news and the newsreaders and the traffic reports, Jane, Cameron and Damon – your shows rock – humour, music and comradery. Sershan your shows have become more thoughtful. I am not a morning person but I enjoyed the breakfast show when I was teaching. It accompanied me though many a traffic jam.There are some other newbies that I listen to if I am in the car.

Let me state once again – I know change happens and I really do give the newbies a chance but I will not listen to something that irritates me, embarrasses me or serves up a cacophony of so-called music. It is a free country – sort of!

I am now finding that I am muting too many songs while driving - so can someone tell me where I can find a nice mix of adult contemporary music – please….

The subject of this letter ties in with my blog written on Sunday 1st March – "Music Fills my soul". - http://veralex325.blogspot.com/

Music Fills My Soul

When I write, it is to music.

When I drive, I listen to music.

When I dance, I dance to music.

When I was little my father introduced me to classical music. We would listen to his choice of music for hours on end. I learned to love the gentle sound of classics, the thunderous music of Beethoven, the emotional music that flowed from Tchaikovsky's soul. The opera sounds of Verdi and Puccini and oh, many, many more. I would study while listening to classical music.

I did ballet, modern, tap, character, Greek and National dance and loved the music that came with each.

When I was a teenager, friends introduced me to pop. The hit parade had to be listened to on a Saturday afternoon while you started the process of getting ready for the party that night. I loved most of the music. Hard rock, pop, ballads and jive.

I went to see all the musicals that came out and loved every single one of them. I adore Andrew Lloyd Webber's music.

And so, as you can see I grew up with an extremely catholic taste in music.

It was only today that I came across the true reason for my dislike and fear of rap music. I knew that it scared me because of the thoughts behind the lyrics, I also knew that I disliked it because it had no sense of melodious rhythm, but today as I was driving, I pressed mute a few seconds after a rap started, and I verbalised "I hate it when someone shouts at me."